We debated about keeping the ethnic name he's been called for the past 12-months, but have decided on an American name. His name is Samuel Freeman Wyatt...he may shorten it to Sam at some point, which is fine with us, but we figured it would help him get acquainted with a new culture, language and family if we all call him the same thing - Samuel. Chris and I were calling him "Sam", Lucy and Eli have called him "Samuel" from the beginning (extra emphasis on the "uel" from Eli)...but now we're all on the same page. It makes our hearts happy to know that the names he's been called the past 12-months means "valuable" and "clarity." He is precious to us!
We've spent some time over the past month getting his room ready! We are thankful for a fun task to keep our hands busy and pass the time - our hearts have been ready for him for so long. It has been neat to talk with Lucy and Eli about all of the preparation we did before they joined our family! Eli has told us that he "will not cry at Santa" once he's a big brother, and Lucy has volunteered to sleep in Samuel's room "if you're too tired, Mom." We've had big talks (about being a transracial family) and little talks (about how all the carseats will fit in the van)...we are feeling ready.
Late last year, I read In On It: What adoptive parents would like you to know about adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends by Elisabeth O'Toole. Wow! It was really, really good. I've read a lot of books, blogs and information and this book was very impressive. I do a lot of good thinking around here about blogging, emailing or texting about our adoption process, with little execution. I thought this book was so well-written, I wanted to share some of the parts that stood out to me:
"It was once standard to consider adoption and adoption issues only in terms of an adoption triad: the birthmother, the child, and the adoptive parents. Now the adoption community recognizes a broader constellation of people touched by adoption, often called the adoption circle - all of the friends and relatives, teachers and neighbors, congregants and colleagues that may witness and support an adoption - and who may themselves impact the adoptive family. That's you - a part of someone's adoption circle, a member of the constellation of adoption. And you have a lot to look forward to."
"Many of us are used to families that maintain at least a passing similarity among their members. Everyone loves to look for family resemblances...It feeds our sense of belonging to see familiar traits passed along...However, it's important to recognize that adoption does not mean forgoing family resemblances. A child raised in a family of readers is like to share an appreciate for literature...As a prospective adoptive parents, I recall feeling gratified as I listened to an adoption father and his son describe how they shared an identical sense of humor. It was reassuring to me to realize that a child who was adopted will still embody family traits."
"The birthmother, no matter how deeply she is committed to and confident in her adoption decision, gives something up. She is entrusting others - usually strangers - with her child, someone usually deeply precious to her but that she is not in a position to parent. It must require an incredible, unimaginable faith in others - again, strangers even - in order to do this. ...Expectant adoptive parents are often highly sensitive to the idea that they await someone else's loss in order to gain what they want so much. In order to be parents, someone else has to release - to lose - a child. For those reasons, most adoptive parents will speak of birthmothers with respect and gratitude and will appreciate when you do the same."
For many of you, this is the closest you've been to an adoption experience. Hey, us too! :-) Thank you for asking about Samuel, being curious about the process and his background, and keeping him in your prayers...we are ready to bring him home!
Wonderful post, love this so much. We are so excited for you guys and can't wait to meet Samuel.
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